Communication is basically divided into verbal and non-verbal. Verbal communication is obviously speaking with the mouth, while non-verbal communication can be expressed through body language, sms, email, eye contact and so on.
Personally I think I am not so good expressing my feelings and thoughts verbally compare to non-verbal. Probably because I am being brought up in quite a traditional chinese family where parents and child ought to have a certain "distance" to show respect. In family like this the conversation can never go beyond the common topics like "How is school?"or "Have you eaten?". Even if this family spends a lot of time together still it will not be one with quality. For example on Mothers' day, my family and I do take it as an imporatant occassion. We eat out and buy presents or giving cards. Unfortuantely I have difficulty saying happy mothers' day to my own mom. Do you think the phrase "I love you mommy" comes out easily from my mouth? Absolutely no! I do love my mom but the only way I express it is by writing her cards or typing it in sms.
Whereas for my relationship, my partner and I do talk about anything and everything but when it comes to arguing, that is the hard part. Somehow I am just unable to apologize verbally in the right way or should I say when I apologize verbally it does not seem to be sincere. Then he might get sensitive and misunderstanding comes in to make the whole situation worse.
Therefore I finally came up with a solution to it. Instead of using my mouth, I will write him poems or some meaningful quotes or even an apology letter that is as long as an essay. It may sound troublesome and weird to apologize in this way but it just works better for me! There is a a saying - action speaks louder than words. However for my case it is the opposite.
In a conclusion, the message here is everyone has their own way to express their feelings and thoughts. If verbal does not help then try non-verbal and vice versa. Just choose the suitable and best way for you to avoid misunderstanding and arguements.
Written by:
FIONA LIM
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