How Do We Become A Better Listener???

Our ears are very important sensory organs. They are involved in two main functions, i.e., listening & hearing.
Listening and hearing are two totally different things. To further divide listening, effective listening can be divided into 3 types:

1. Paraphrase - Restating what another person has said in your own words.
   
2. Open Question - A question that helps a person explore their feelings rather than forcing a "yes", "no,'' or other certain answer.


3. Feeling Reflection - your perception of the speaker's feelings based on words, tone, and body language.
   

Example 1:

Speaker: It just wasn't the right thing for him to do
Listener: You believe he shouldn't have done that.

Example 2:

Speaker: I didn't like that show.
Listener: What didn't you like about it?

Example 3:

Speaker: I can't stand to be kept waiting!
Listener: Your pacing the floor and your tone of voice tells me that you feel this an abuse of your time.

Now that we are clear about the types of effective listening, what must we do to improve our listening skills? Listed below are a few tips:

• Listen carefully so that you will be able to understand, comprehend, and evaluate. Careful listening requires a conscious effort on your part. Always be aware of the verbal and nonverbal signs.
  
• Mentally and physically prepare yourself to listen. Put other thoughts out of your mind. Don't try to think of answers in advance as this will only divert your attention.


• Don't talk too much. Listen to what people have ro say.
  Think about the topic in advance before listening.


• Listen with empathy. Put yourself in other people's shoes.


• Do not interrupt.
  
• Listen to how something is said. Be alert for what is left unsaid.
  
• Make sure everyone involved gets an opportunity to voice their opinions. Don't let one person dominate the conversation.


• Face those you are talking with, lean slightly forward, and make eye contact. Use your body language to show that you are interested/concerned.
  

Information taken from http://www.coping.org/dialogue/listen.htm

[Li Ann xP]