Why do people lie, especially to those that they love????

LIES LIES LIES....LIES LIES LIES....LIES LIES LIES....


Lying is a technique that is used to influence, control and manipulate other’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Lying comes naturally, and most of the time, it happens with little awareness, effort, or thought. In fact, children start lying, quite effectively, early in life. And as adults, people continue to lie.

Not only is lying fairly common, but it can take several different forms:

• a bold-faced lie, that is, say something that is explicitly not true.


• a lie of omission, that is, by leaving things or critical information unsaid while leading hearers to believe that the complete story is being told.

Why do people lie, especially to the ones they love?? Lying is usually fueled by one of the following reasons:

Avoid Punishment
Lying is often used to avoid punishment or possible rejection. If a spouse or romantic partner is going to react poorly to the truth, generally speaking, people try to hide or conceal the truth. By nature, people are designed to avoid harm and punishment, even if individuals have to lie in order to do so.

Seek Approval
People universally have a need for approval. Lying and deception are often used to create a favorable image or impression. People will go to great lengths, even using deception, if necessary, to create a positive image. Often this involves some self-deception as well (people start to believe their own false image is true).

Maintain Privacy
Everyone needs some privacy – a sense of independence, autonomy, and freedom. People like to feel in control, especially when it comes to giving out information about one’s self. Just because you are in a close relationship does not mean that you have completely given up your right to, or need for, privacy. So, lying and deception are very useful when trying to maintain a sense of one’s self that is autonomous, independent, and private.

Avoid Conflict
Couples rarely see eye-to-eye on every issue. And if couples were determined to see eye-to-eye (and some do), they could engage in never ending conflict on a range of issues. But, as always engaging in conflict is damaging in any relationship. So, rather than argue about every issue that may come up, sometimes it is easier to avoid conflict by pretending to get along.

Regulate Power
Whether people like to acknowledge it or not, power differences are present in every relationship. Power involves having control when it comes to decision making. And power often switches back and forth between partners depending on the issue at hand. For instance, one partner might have financial power, while another partner may have social power (control in social situations). As a general rule, the person who lacks power in any given situation is more likely to lie in order to influence the outcome. For instance, kids are more likely to lie to their parents, employees are more likely to lie to employers, and the same goes for close relationships. The person, who lacks power, is more likely to lie in order to get what they want. Lying helps individuals even out power differences that may exist.

“Half the truth is often a great lie.”- Benjamin Franklin

Article from http://www.beautyandlace.com/whylie.htm

[Li Ann =S]